Thursday, August 17, 2017

Roses and the quest for the perfect scent...remembering Mom.


Humble Bungalow Garden Roses


Pepper seems to enjoy their fragrance.


Samples of rose fragrances sent from the Vancouver Nordstrom store.


The list of rose scented samples that I am testing and there are more suggested by readers of the blog.


Chester enjoying the box that held the samples.


William Shakespeare and Jude the Obscure 
David Austin roses from the Humble Bungalow Garden.

If I could bottle these scents I would.


I had a weepy day yesterday.
It was a combination of things...
the noise from the construction next door.
Power tools and the jack hammering of the road out in front of our bungalow 
I was thinking a lot about MOM and how much I miss having her around.

I have been frequenting some of our favourite spots:
The Willows tea room
W&J Wilson
The Esplanade
Nar bistro
Matticks Farm
Adrienne's Tea Garden
Barbara's Boutique in Sidney

This just brings it closer to home that she's gone and so I had a wee bit of a meltdown.

Fortunately my husband understood and he listened while I talked and wept.
There will be more days like this of that I am sure...
 I'll let the feelings flow along with the tears.

How's your week going?

Thanks for stopping by The Humble Bungalow Blog.

47 comments:

Becky said...

Your roses are lovely. The scents that you received are memories of living roses. Your memories of your dear mother are similar, fragrant yet melancholy at times. xoxo

Kathy said...

Such beautiful roses! I'm sorry you're feeling sad right now. I understand, having lost my mom a little over a year ago. I, too, know that these feelings come and go. You're wise, to let them come, talk about them, and then go on with life, until they surface again. For we know they will. Surround yourself with loving friends and family, and treat yourself to the things that bring happy reminders of someone so important in your life. xo

Sheila said...

Aw, hugs to you, L - it's completely understandable to have weepy times (I'm going through a bit of a weepy bout recently myself), and it's good to let those feelings come out.

I love the smell of roses - the ones from your garden are just beautiful. Seeing Pepper and Chester (box kitty!) makes me smile. What lovely companions - be sure to indulge in some "purr therapy".

Susan said...

Thinking of you during this time. How wonderful that you have your husband to support you when you feel really sad. Beautiful roses are always.

Madame Là-bas said...

Beautiful roses and I'm sure that you will enjoy so many rosy scents. I'm certain that you will always miss your mother. Perhaps the sadness will surface less frequently as time goes by.
I walked 16,000+ steps yesterday although my two glasses of pinot grigio might have added a few calories but exercise is good. I'm starting to look at my fall wardrobe. It's a bit neglected (dollars to travel rather than to clothing). You do a good job of maintaining a current wardrobe without extravagance. It is the basics that need to be maintained and updated.

Noelle said...

You and your mother were blessed to share such a strong bond. The loss is made more difficult when you lose a friend as well as your mom.

Anonymous said...

So sorry you're feeling down, I completely understand. It doesn't seem to matter how old we are or how long we had our parents, it is still very hard when they're gone. Recently, I had a friend (whose mother passed away the same week as mine last January) tell me that even though she's in her 60's, she felt like an orphan. I had been feeling the same way but never expressed it before talking to her. I'm happy that you have a kind, understanding husband.
Sending you a big hug!
And oh my, those roses are gorgeous!

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

So true Becky...

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

My heart goes out to you Kathy...on the loss of your Mom.
It is tough losing a Mother and we were friends too, and we lived in a close proximity to each other which makes her absence feel more significant.
Thank you for your kind words.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Thank you Sheila...the cats are very entertaining and they are good company too!
I hope your weepy patch eases...tears do have a purpose...one usually feels better after they are shed...no point bottling up feelings either as that is not healthy.
XO

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

My husband is wonderful...he is kind and understanding and I know I'd be lost without his support and love. I am very grateful.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

You are really making an effort to get and keep moving! I am very impressed with your dedication to fitness Madame.
Travel is much more enjoyable than buying oodles of new clothes...I think you have your priorities set right.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

That is so true Noelle...

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Many of us are "orphans" now...I have heard several friends use this term when describing how they feel after their parents' demise.
Thank you for those kind words and the "big hug!"

Jeannine said...

Thinking of you, Leslie, with a tear in my eye. Loss is so difficult. You are wise to let your feelings out. Your roses are just exquisite.

Anonymous said...

I always look forward to reading your blog. Your roses are beautiful! You are so good at putting into words what others are feeling.

Anonymous said...

My mom died two years ago tomorrow. Though we were very very different she was a huge part of my life and the lives of my children. We seldom agreed and yet....there is a huge hole. I totally understand the meltdown. I truly get it. It isn't weird or to be apologized for it just happens. And your roses are beautiful. We have many of the same, but I am jealous of yours because they are so fantastic. Thanks for bringing simple beauty into all our lives. ~Mary

dottoressa said...

There are times like this,Leslie,and I'm so sorry. But we were/are the lucky ones,to have our parents quite long and to have such close relationships full of love and lots of beautiful memories. Rose scents (from your always beautiful roses and perfume scents), paths and places...everything you've shared together.... I completely understand-and crying is good.....
I've read in a psychological book that the process of deep sorrow (for a loved ones,even for a loss of job because of retirement,divorce,etc) lasts at least a year)
I have some friends who did/do not have a warm relationship with their mothers and fathers and this is horrible for them as well,even more after the death of a parent.
My week wasn't a good one,I had to break my holidays and come back to Zagreb because of severe backpain and laryngitis,so I'm on injections again
YSL Mon Paris is a new one,Parissiene is the older one,but I like it more
Dottoressa

Patricia said...

Your roses are always the most beautiful I see - and it is perfect that you should use rose scented products too! I enjoy a rose moisturiser spray for my face after my shower - so luxurious. So sorry to hear you have been through a sad patch, the inevitable side of grief and loss. My week has been a little sad also, with illness in the family, and strangely I too have been thinking of my parents, now both gone, as we struggle to finish my father's Estate.

Adele said...

Meltdowns make us human, and teach us compassion -- for ourselves as well as for others. And the more we love someone, the larger the hole in our lives. May her memory be for a blessing.

I lost my parents within a year of one another, and felt those orphaned feelings very keenly. Though my husband was supportive, he could not quite understand why I felt that way -- I think it's because he never had the kind of close and warm relationship with his folks that I had. And now that we have a grandchild, I miss my parents all over again, because I know how much they would have loved meeting my daughter's child.

Kristien62 said...

It is a good thing to allow yourself to grieve. And it is wonderful that you have someone who is there while you express your sadness. And, of course, you know that you will be able to think of her someday without tears, but not without missing her.

I love roses, but the soil here is clay and difficult to amend for successful rose cultivation. So I love your pictures and can almost catch their fragrance.

Roxann said...

I understand about the meltdown and send sympathetic thoughts your way. For much longer after my mom died than I had anticipated, I would--from time to time-- be swamped by the sense of loss. Sometimes I was clear about what triggered it, sometimes not. We are blessed to have had such relationships, but still...

I am picky about rose fragrances, but really like Caudalie's Rose de Vigne for a light, daytime scent. And it's moderate in price, never a bad thing! I haven't been able to find it this summer in the states and am not sure if it has been discontinued. If so, a shame.

Sherry said...

beautiful roses .. thankful you found comfort midst the meltdown. ♥

Susan B said...

Hi Leslie, what I've found is that grief is a process that doesn't follow any timetable but its own. Good for you to acknowledge and allow it.

Your roses are always SO stunning! I'm totally envious.

BuffaloGal said...

That which we loved remains in the heart. I wish you peace.

La Contessa said...

THE SAME!!!!!!
Husband went to hospital by ambulance........cat is missing........hair is falling OUT and no One is listening or doing anything to help me!
The ITALIAN is OKAY..........but I am a TIRED WRECK!
XX

cj said...

Somehow roses and grief seem to go together, your mom was lucky to have a daughter like you. My mom has been gone 22 years, and since I'd been adopted I found out my birth mother died the same year. So I grieved both of them in different ways. I have a great relationship with my daughter and cherish all our time together. Your blogs about your mom help all of us remember our own moms so thank you.

Marie said...

Leslie, I am so sorry that you've lost your mother. You've written so beautifully about her. There is no way to escape deep grief when you've had such a close relationship.

Your search for a rose perfume sounds like fun! I haven't worn perfume for years. I stopped when my son was young because if his allergies. I'd like to start again, but I work in a hospital and wearing scent is prohibited. Still, I'd like to wear it at least occasionally. My signature, like yours, is a single flower. When I was,in high school, I wore Coty Muguet de Boos. From college onward I wore Diorissimo. I've learned that the formula has been changed and it is no longer as wonderful as it was. I did some research a while ago and came up with a list of samples of lily of the valley perfumes that I meant to order from a perfume website. I didn't realize that my favorite store, Nordstrom, gave out samples. I'll try them.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

The roses are really having a great year...it must be all the sunshine that we've been enjoying. As to the loss...some days are better than others and I am feeling generally less weepy than I was at first...knowing that I will have the occasional blue day is something I will have to accept.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Thank you for your kind comment...

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Mother daughter relationships can be tricky...I know that when I was a teenager Mom and I had different opinions about a lot of things but after I had children I understood much better how she felt about things...we were very close and I considered her to be a friend and even more so after Father passed away and when I retired I had so much more time to enjoy her company...I am very grateful for those times. That "huge hole" that you mention describes how I feel perfectly
as to the roses...they are better this year than many other summers and I attribute it to the warm and sunny days this year.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Oh I hope that you feel better soon...have you injured your back?
My husband had a bulging disc year ago and suffered intense pain for many months before he had surgery and thank goodness it was a successful repair.

I can only imagine how difficult it would have been if there had been unresolved issues and there is no way to patch things up after they pass on...so those thoughts and emotions would be much more of a burden.

Sending you healing thoughts...

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Sounds like we are on the same wavelength...perhaps once you finish dealing with your Father's estate you will have some closure and peace.
I hope that the family illness is not too serious...and if it is that you have the strength to carry on and be a support to those involved.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Our relationships and family dynamics do factor in when we are dealing with loss and grief...you are so right about love and loss and the emptiness that is left behind...and it is natural to wonder what your parents would thought meeting your grandchild.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

We have clay soil too but have added loads of compost to lighten it up a lot.
Roses seem to like having "wet feet" they are greedy when it comes to water too.
The David Austin roses are unlike most other ones that we have growing in the Humble Bungalow Garden...very reliable and hardy. If you haven't tried growing them please do try as I think they may be the best roses ever!

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

I never knew that Caudalie made scents...there are so many blends of rose fragrances out there that finding a simple basic one seems like finding a needle in a haystack! I have quite a few to test out!

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Feeling much better now after that sad day...we worked through it and I am so grateful for my husband...not sure that I could cope as well if I was alone.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

If we lived closer I would pick and deliver you a big bouquet!

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Thank you...such a lovely quote.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Oh no!
I am listening...
Can you get some quiet time to rest?
I know when things are in chaos it is difficult but do try to take some deep breaths.

Hope the cat finds its way back home and the Italian is on the mend and as to the hair...well that might be caused by all the stress...
feel free to email me.
XO

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Two losses in a one year...my goodness that must have been hard.
Fortunately you have a daughter and a great relationship and love spending time together which is such a gift.
You mentioned that my mom was lucky to have me as her daughter
but I feel I was lucky to have her as my Mom!

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

I could not wear scent at work either...I worked in a school in the library and with special needs children whose conditions were often triggered by fragrance.
Now that I am retired I can freely wear it...sounds like Annick Goutal might be your best option on your perfume hunt. Good luck!

Ellie's friend from canada said...

Oh I am so sorry that you had a meltdown. I too had a meltdown, a double meltdown, as it were. Today I was in my doctor's office –– well, change that to "my substitute doctor's office". There on the wall was one of my old doctor's name labels. He retired suddenly after he'd had an accident. Although he recovered and we all hoped he'd return, he did not. I was figuring out how many years he had been my doctor. It was 36 years. He had been a friend, after all. I thought about how good he'd been to my mother and that he even made house calls for her, his favourite little old lady. And so today, realizing that my mother was no longer here, and that she had been my best friend, and that my old doctor was a friend whose absence will create a double void, I had a very teary meltdown in the doctor's office. He had walked in while I was counting the decades backwards to figure out how long I had known my doctor and he realized why the tears. Your meltdowns may occur at the oddest times and places. I truly understand why you had the meltdown. Your mother was your best friend and a beloved mother (as was mine) and that is an unbeatable combination. We are doubly lucky for it. Don't worry about a meltdown. It happens!

Poppy Q said...

Your roses are beautiful hostess, I am sure your mum is looking down and smiling.

My father died last year - now I don't often cry but at moments the grief still can grab me and spin me round. Mostly though I think of him and smile. I think that for the first year or two you can be so traumatized the process of grief and the letting go. As time passes that eases and you can remember the love.

Margie from Toronto said...

I tried a rose scented perfume today - It's MUSE - Rouge by Esee Lauder. At first I found it quite strong, even though I only used a drop but I have to say that it mellowed out nicely. It might be worth checking out.

dottoressa said...

Thank you very much Leslie,thinking of me
A sort of-I have some constant problems starting with my pregnancy but everything was ok with exercises and some physiotherapy-but my father is completely immobile and it is too much for my back (although he is in a kind of private hospital/caring home for a couple of months now,but my mother and me are visiting everyday and than there is always something to do)
I'm so glad that your husband had a successful operattion and recovery
D.

Sydney Shop Girl said...

What beautiful roses, L!

Grief is so hard and unpredictable. I am glad that you have such good and strong people to support you through the harrowing moments.

Much love

SSG xxx